Since being pregnant I’ve noticed a few things about those around me and things that people say. Some of it is utterly ridiculous and I really don’t know why people feel the need to say these things.
Prime examples of this.
“It’s so great that we’re almost half way through this pregnancy.” “See how great it is when you’re up to your elbows in sh*tty nappies”.
“I love feeling her kick.” “It feels good now, but wait until she’s getting her feet stuck under your ribs. You won’t like it then.”
“We’re going to the cinema. “ “Wellllll there’ll be none of THAT when baby comes. No more cinema. No more theatre. No more nice holidays.”
“I’m tired.” “Wait and see how tired you are when the baby keeps you up all night.”
I don’t understand this. For some people it is ALL that they say. Everything is turned into a negative. Nothing is for us to enjoy. People like to tell us that our lives are going to change, but not for the better. Some people literally have nothing positive to say.
The thing is, Amy and I know full well that our lives are going to change, but we also know that we will still be humans. A lot of the time, the people making these comments are people who had their children easily, and I think that’s where the difference is. Amy and I have been waiting a long time for these changes to happen. We haven’t had to adjust to the idea because we’ve been waiting for it for so long. We’re not going into it thinking this is all going be unicorns and rainbows all the time, but at the same time we have been waiting a LONG time for this. A long time for the whole package. A long time for smiles and cuddles and joy, but also for poopy nappies, sleepless nights and being a family.
I don’t know. I think people think that we don’t know anything about children. I fully understand that we probably have no idea of the scale of the changes to our lives, purely because we have never had a baby before. It’s going to be a steep learning curve. But we’re going to take on the challenges head on, same as we will enjoy the good days. We’ve got through three years of infertility, so the challenge presented by finally getting the baby that we have dreamed of is more like winning a gold medal than anything else.
I just don’t understand why people can’t be more positive. You don’t all hate your kids, so stop acting like you do. This is an exciting time for Amy and I, and I know you all want to share what you’ve learnt as parents. So, share your wisdom. Tell us things that might help us. But don’t drag us down into thinking this will be the worst thing we ever did when we know full well that it’s going to be a challenging, life changing but absolutely wonderful journey.