There’s a title I wasn’t sure I would ever write! Another post from the past few weeks…
My first midwife appointment came through for seven weeks on the dot. It was weirdly exciting. I mean, only pregnant people go to the midwife. Before now it had been some kind of forbidden place where we couldn’t go until we actually achieved a sticky pregnancy. We never even made a booking in appointment with Squishy, so I was very excited and apprehensive.
So, the day rolled around and Amy and I headed to a local childrens’ centre for our bombardment of information. I was anxious about a few things; my blood pressure as it has always been a little bit high, and my BMI. I weighed myself a week before my appointment and worked out my BMI and it was ridiculously high for me at over 35! Last time I checked around three months before it was 28… Wasn’t happy! I want a birth centre birth, which means my BMI has to be under 35 so I wasn’t thrilled with that at all. I changed my eating habits but was very much aware that I wouldn’t be able to make much of a difference before the appointment. No room for crash dieting now I’m growing a human!
So, anyhow, we got to the Children’s Centre and were registered, taking in the many many posters around the waiting area about breastfeeding, labour and all kinds of things. I have to admit I was excited, but very nervous. We were the first appointment of the day, yet they still managed to keep us waiting about fifteen minutes over our appointment time. We were soon called in and introduced to both the student midwife who would be taking us through the appointment, and the senior midwife who would be supervising.
We cracked on with the many MANY questions. I’m quite happy to say that they recognised immediately that Amy was the baby’s other parent – no problems there. They did however keep referring to Superhero Donor as “baby’s father”, which I guess makes perfect sense to them. As Amy and I have discussed, we will raise the child with the idea of Superhero Donor being a friend and a donor who had helped up achieve our dream. We don’t intend to use the term father at all, as in my opinion a father is so much more than a biological other half. Maybe something we need to discuss with them – just a gentle pointer. After the many health questions about me and ALLLL of the family members that had gone before me, we got down to the weight…
The midwife weighed me. She worked out my BMI and… 33.1. Yes, I know that is still high, however that was better than the over 35 that I had worked out and clears me for a birth centre birth! I’m aiming to keep making excellent food choices and keep my weight as constant as I can through the pregnancy. No eating for two here! My blood pressure was totally 100% slap bang in the middle of normal, which is excellent. Then there was the blood… I think she took most of the blood from my right arm – at least it felt like I didn’t have a whole lot left in there. She did explain what they were to test for – one was for blood type, one was for glucose, one was for rubella immunity and the other was to check for any nasties such as HIV, syphillis etc. All fun!
They did say I am going to have to have a consultant appointment because of my history of slightly high BP, PTSD, depression and asthma, but I am guessing I will probably be discharged back to midwife led care as my BP is in the normal range and the asthma hasn’t bothered me for quite a few years now. The depression and PTSD was as a result of a sexual assault, so is also not a problem.
We have a holiday booked to New York when I will be 28 weeks pregnant, which means I will need a “Fit to Fly” note from the doctor. The midwife reassured me that if everything stays the same as it is now, I should be totally fine to go. Obviously there’s only so much that we actually can control, but fingers crossed all will stay well and the babymoon will be a go! I also found out that Piriton (for hayfever) if fine to take during pregnancy – thank goodness for that!
So, for the moment all is on track. I got my “Mama Academy” wallet to keep my (gigantic pile of) notes in. I’ve been told they have to come everywhere with me, so they’re residing in my bag as we speak. Apparently I should get my 12 week scan through by around ten weeks, which is great, and then my next midwife appointment will be at sixteen weeks.
I do wish the paperwork itself would have been a bit more inclusive, though. A lot of the forms refer to “you and your husband” as the biological parents of the baby and I’m sure there are many many situations where this is just not the case. Not just for lesbian families, but single mothers and those who concieved a child with someone with whom they were not in a relationship. Time for “parent 1” and “parent 2”? I do appreciate that the midwife herself was incredibly inclusive, but the paperwork was a little bit of a let down considering how easy it is to be inclusive.
Aside from midwives, everything else is looking ok. I’ve only had one major meltdown and that was because at just over six weeks all my symptoms disappeared. After loss, that was very VERY hard. They soon came back, though, and although the sore boobs have come in peaks and troughs I have been feeling miderately sick almost constantly for the last week, which is oddly reassuring. Three more days until our early scan.
That’s us, actually registered with an actual midwife! Shit’s getting real!
(I wrote this post at 7+2)