Another guest entry from our fantastic donor. Please feel free to leave a. Comment if you enjoy these posts – I personally am finding them really interesting!
It may surprise you, but donors select their receipients. I started off thinking that everyone was as deserving as each other, but I soon discovered some people are more together, respectful and likely to succeed than others.
So, how does it work for me? Well after making initial contact by Facebook, I expect to get a number of questions. I want questions. It is so important that you are checking me out – am I reasonably healthy? Any heriditory illnesses? Health of parents and siblings? – these are all good questions and ones I am happy to answer.
However, you should expect me to ask you questions too. If I donate to you I am putting myself at risk of future maintenance claims. I need to check that you really want a child, that you have thought through the potential costs and childcare problems. I am not intending to take any part of the child’s life, but it would be rresponsible just to ignore these things.
I also like to know how you are determining when to go for AI. It amazes me just how little some recipients know about their own cycle. I am not impressed with just counting days and stabbing in the dark, but many ladies still think like that. I prefer the lady that monitors their cycle carefully and I’m happy with an ‘i’m due some time next week’ arrangement and a message to say “it’s today. Can you do tonight?” If I am making the effort to get to you I want the best chance of success just as you do.
Now, I’m going to shock and upset some people. Some ladies show no respect for their donor and the sperm they want to grow into their child. What sort of potential parent wants their donor to meet them in a car park, or a McDonalds loo and donate for them there? I refuse to. I understand that some people do not want even their home address to be known by the donor. If you are that paranoid, then arrange to donate at a friend’s place or book a hotel room for the evening. Also don’t expect your donor to wank into a pot in your bathroom – let them use a bedroom.
I am a firm believer that a relaxed atmosphere and minimising the time from ejaculation to insemination increases the chances of pregnancy.
The best recipients welcome you into their home, offer you a drink just like any guest, leave you room to donate then, soon after I have left, perform the AI. Those ones I go out of my way for and will make every effort to get to when the time is right. One of the best i have found are Laura and Amy – being nice to their donor worked for them.